30 weeks!

I remembered today that I haven't posted any updates in a while, so I thought I should share something! I've been so busy lately. It seems Summer time is always this way.


Well, I'm finally 30 weeks! The 3rd trimester has been kicking me in the butt. My sweet darling seems to be beating me up a bit. Ailments include, beautiful varicose veins starting at my butt and all the way down my legs, very sore feet and legs, easily fatigued, nightmares, etc. I have been wearing compression stockings to help with the pain from the varicose veins. These do help a lot! Well, as long as I'm wearing them. They reduce the soreness and help maintain my energy. The thing is, is that it's Summer and it has been SO hot. I refuse to wear them out of the house because of this. Unless, I want to die of a heat stroke.


The dreams and nightmares I've been having every night. Last night I dream-pt that I went to a doctors appt to check my babies heartbeat. In my dream, the doctor instead did an ultrasound and then proceeded to do a cesarean section against my will! She basically ripped the baby out of me! I woke up in a panic and thanked God that I was still pregnant. Dreams are very normal at this stage in pregnancy. The hormones are going crazy and the anticipation of my little one coming very soon is sinking in.


Last week I went through a crazy nesting stage. I had a lot of anxiety over getting things ready for the baby. I made a couple of to-do lists and shopping lists. I had a few minor panic attacks because I was so overwhelmed. Also, the reality of having a newborn again is sinking in and sometimes I don't think I will be able to do it, especially with a 2 year old. 


At one point, I randomly decided to make my own laundry detergent, in the evening when I should have been making dinner. I stood by the counter grating this soap for which seemed like forever! The grater kept getting clogged and I cut my thumb a bit. At the same time, Tucker was trying to grab all the toxic powder products off the counter. I was so frazzled by the end, that we decided to run through the Culvers drive thru for dinner. Seriously, why I decide to do these things, I don't know!


Thankfully, I had an appt with my midwives on one of the panic days. We talked for a long time about ways to cope with the anxiety. It helped so much to just talk about these issues. From that day on, I've been feeling more balanced. I'm a accomplishment driven person, so I tend to work myself to death until I feel I've done enough for one day. It's hard for me to relax and do nothing. I feel like I'm wasting time and I get bored. Finding this balance is key for me. I'm really trying to take multiple breaks during the day to maintain my energy to last for the entire day. Almost everyday  I get a few things done off my baby to-do list and it feels good. I also struggle with Fibromylagia, which is a condition with long-term, body-wide pain and tenderness in the joints, muscles, tendons, and other soft tissues; with fatigue. The combination of this with pregnancy is rough.


Anyway, this weekend my husband and I are hosting a bonfire party at our house. Am I crazy?!! We do this every Summer. We cook food and invite our friends from various places over. My husband is a bit of a pyro, so his expertise is the making the fire. This usually involves some kind of minor explosion ;) One year the ground shook from the intensity. Boy, was everyone talking about that for a while! I tend to overdue myself with the food prep, so this year I'm making really simple things, like chili. I've been taking the past few days and doing little by little to prepare for the party. I'd rather not be a pregnant zombie by the time everyone arrives! Should be a fun weekend!